Attention-seeking grandmother put on information diet after she reveals her great-grandchild's gender to church congregation without mom's permission: "I wanted to be able to tell everyone on my own terms"

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    AITA for now keeping secrets from my grandma because she ruined the gender reveal?

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    My husband and I are almost thirty and about to have our first baby in December. This is after multiple m ges and adoptions falling through.
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    I have been telling my close family all the details from the beginning incase I lose this baby as well. I wanted to wait to announce to the world, but my grandmother kept pestering me about just letting
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    her tell everyone since she's "so excited." It made her visibly distraught when I told her I wanted to announce to the world on my own terms. When I finally announced to our church she was
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    upset I hadn't allowed her to do it earlier because I'm "already getting big enough to notice." Now, we found out the gender last week and I told her this morning I wanted to wait to announce to the world. I didn't want a gender reveal party, but I still wanted to be able to tell everyone on my own terms.
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    Girl BOY!
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    She didn't care for my answer and told everyone in our church (we have a VERY small town/community) the gender this morning when I wasn't around. Church members just began walking to me saying
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    congratulations on baby's gender! My sister saw I was obviously distraught and told my grandma to stop telling people which upset her more. Now I feel I can no longer share information about my baby without her going behind my back and
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    telling everyone every little detail. My father says I am overreacting because "this baby is all she has." She already has three other great grandchildren she was nothing to do with.
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    AITA for not wanting her involved in my progress anymore? I just want information released when I'm comfortable to.
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    Dittoheadforever You're NTA My father says I am overreacting because "this baby is all she has." Being old is no excuse for stealing someone else's big moments. Especially ones that are so sensitive.
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    Decaf MadeMeDolt That's just it though, right? She doesn't "have" this. This is not gran's pregnancy. This is OP's. So the idea that it's taking something from Gran doesn't make sense because it was never hers to begin with.
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    Fabulous_World6929 Not only does she not 'have' this, she doesn't want this. She wants the attention associated with a pregnancy. Given all OP has endured, it makes the grandmother when worse. Urgh
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    nickybateleur "She already has three other great grandchildren she was nothing to do with" tells you everything you need to know. She's the common denominator.
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    She's the problem. You're NTA. Don't let yourself be emotionally blackmailed. Your baby wouldn't be the "only thing she has" if she still had a relationship with her other grandchildren...
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    Soitgoes5 She wants the attention that comes with making the announcement, she doesn't actually care about the babies once they are born.
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    xplosad3 "This baby is all she has" • what about you & your husband that have been trying for years, and this is now all you have
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    DarthRed Yoga And what about OP dad. Sounds like Grandma is very manipulative
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    NTA Dharling97 Ask your grandmother if she wants to make this her 4th great grandbaby that she has nothing to do with, because it can easily be arranged.
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    Crafty-Low-7786 Seriously! Actions have consequences, even for grandma. Respecting boundaries is the minimum if she wants to stay in the loop this time.
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    Adorable_Click9074 NTA. "She already has three other great grandchildren she was nothing to do with." She does not give a cr p about you or your child. All she cares about is being the center of attention.
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    Jantastic Yes, that context really changes things. Granny now finds out info at the same time as the general public.
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    DeskRider You're NTA, but . . . Given what you've mentioned here - that your grandmother was "so excited" to know the gender of your child and that she repeated became "visibly
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    distraught" when you told her that you would reveal the information in your own good time - it's really hard to believe that you didn't anticipate that she'd do what she did.
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    You're not overreacting because this was your news to share, and she took that from you, despite you asking her not to do so. Sorry, but how excited she might be is irrelevant here; this was your opportunity
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    for attention and she deliberately swiped it. And it seems like if you were to share information with your father, he'd tell her, and you'd be back here in a couple of months with a similar complaint. So, limit what you share and then share when you're ready.

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